We live in a highly sexual culture that also idolizes utility (i.e., a means to an end). We tend to value things only based on what they lead to in the future. This commerce morality often mistakes the means for the end and, therefore, misses the end. To judge joy and sexual affection as … Read More
Some of us look upon sexual relationship evolution with a fear or envy. Most of our grandparents would look upon our sexual relations today with disapproval, yet they passed on to us the genetic tendency to adapt.
Today sexual relations are more fair then they were in the past, particularly for women, in spite of the need for more improvement. Read More
I’ve seen this concept floating around for a long … Read More
I dispute monogamy and I hope that my monogamous brothers and sisters understand that it is not just the failures of monogamy that provoke the contempt, ever perceptible in my writing. The world is imperfect and I accept the imperfections of society, yet I do not condone bad ideals or a society that refuses to realize the good … Read More
In the west the propaganda of religion is probably not as pervasive as are the songs, representations, and symbolism about love. We know how different religious influences change the interpretation of a fact. Now consider how everyone is a philosopher about love over coffee, but most people, do not want their love philosophies scrutinized. Most love philosophies are not concerned … Read More
Love like water.
Instead of saying we have different kinds of love, such as, one kind for friends, another for family, and another then lovers. I ask, what if we have only one love that takes different forms, like the way water conforms itself to the present situation? If love like water resonates with you, rather than … Read More
Once again the inimitable John Oliver exposes the weakness of American abstinance sex eduducation and with humor at the end, offers his own sex education video.
Watch and enjoy.
Photo of John Oliver By TechCrunch – The 7th Annual Crunchies Awards on February 10, 2014 in San Francisco, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=45899540
I want to respect the trial and error of a sexually daring woman who is now dead, and expose the all too common error for the sake of others. This writing is not merely a eulogy for a sexually daring woman whom I will refer to by her first name, these words are more than a remembrance for a Read More
“Stealthing,” the fact that there is an online comunity encouraging such behavior suggests to me complisity in a crime. Stealthing is non-consensual sex and is potentially fatal.
In the video Choose Pussy over Pain, Cidney Green shares a profound grasp of the obvious and lives it in the flesh. A critique of being offended by nudity but viral sharing of real violence like fight videos and cops shooting unarmed people. May you be a light unto us all Cidney.
Intimate relationships and love ideals are a touchy topic anywhere, but the consequences of marriage, relationship breakups, and vengeance for rejection should make us willing to scrutinize our beliefs. Ideals should not blind us to facts. In some countries, divorce is almost impossible due to the force of custom, but custom itself does not make any … Read More
“1. There can be no surprise without discovery.
Discovery is like a free fall; a new understanding of something previously taken for granted; a surprise affection, something beautiful or new knowledge. With discovery we are thrust into the moment. The experience is vitalizing, it awakens our senses. Think of … Read More
Don’t become cynical in intimate relationship. Find those people who value the truth.
On one hand, the hope for something better drives human discovery; meaning trial and error. On the … Read More
Remember the problem is youth suicide, not the emotional discomfort of those who adhere to a custom. Let’s keep the priorities straight.
“The truthfulness needed may go far beyond what our … Read More
What is sex power? It’s no trivial fact that almost every human being you meet longs for sexual joy, and those who understand that fact have power. Unfortunately, shame, possessive-ness, questionable beliefs and the tendency to use people as a means place sex power in the hands of advertisers, religion, and people who are willing to take advantage or deceive. Our instinctive … Read More
“How to find new life? You follow the impulses toward a better life, even when it’s hard. That is what I do, and it’s not easy but the alternative is a prison of routine and amusement seeking to avoid feeling dead. Remember the sprout struggles out of the seed. The chick struggles out of the … Read More
Understanding relationships means understanding pain. This is vital if we wish to bring relief to useless suffering. To reduce useless pain is nurturing to love. But what does that actually mean?
Understand two sources of suffering.
One source is fact based, some event like a toothache, the loss of someone loved, an … Read More
Anyone involved in slut shaming does not want girls to have freedom, to wear whatever they want, to like whoever they like (including boys), to speak boldly etc., whatever excuse these ‘perhaps’ well-meaning people offer, they indulge in power over girls when they use shame. This shame is an abuse. We can train a cat to fear a mouse by shocking it with … Read More
How to improve our love?
First let’s begin with a short alagory to set the tone
‘When born into a den of thieves, a Buddha learns to steal.’
We’re born into a Machiavellian world of love songs, stories, religion, ads, movies, half-truths and falsehoods about love. … Read More
When we distinguish what we see in relationships from our sentiment ABOUT relationships, it seems that a great deal of what passes for love rests on fear: practical fears, fear of the unknown, fear … Read More
Why aren’t we renouncing loves limits? “Who do you know who does not place a boundary around his love? We are afraid others will use us and that our desire for love makes us foolish. In deference to this fear, we try to be smart and use others in the name of love for our own … Read More
Let’s start leaving dead relationships. Some people hold love hostage. Hiding behind a mask, they threaten to kill love if another doesn’t submit to spoken or unspoken demands. Sometimes a piece of love is cut off, a warning, just to prove that they are serious. Only the mind perpetrates such terrorism, mind with its boundless expectations. Such … Read More
Since the January 21st Woman’s March, I’ve seen a lot of slut shaming on social networks.
Memes with scantily clad celebrities who might hold views on non sexual issues like the scientific consensus on climate change or the US accepting of political refugees. They may also state opinions on the right to comprehensive sex education, birth control, and legal abortion. Such women in the limelight were … Read More
I use the phrase ‘friendly sex’ because the term ‘casual sex‘ is cliché, and leads to confusion. I suggest a lovers friendship in consenting pleasure is better when we include higher qualities in the affection. These qualities are not a function of time, they can happen quickly, slowly, or not at all. More on this later. Such love exists outside of … Read More
My ever changing sexuality really began as a teen, I grew my sexual legs in a free love community of spiritual seekers, my views of this ever changing sexuality are quite non-traditional. I know the world is far bigger than many people imagine it and that we need not be drugged to break out and experience it. That big world requires intelligence and extreme … Read More
Imagination is risky when we fill in the unknown. Below is an ancient story I use as a relationship allegory that exposes the mistake of thinking we know when we don’t.
“A man awakened before the sunrise. He decided to walk the path to work in the forest along the river in the dark. He walked the same path for … Read More
“A Christian doctor removed my clitoris when I was three years old as a ‘cure’ for masturbation, writes Renee Bergstrom”… Read more at The Guardian
If we’ve felt great pain in past relationships, we probably have some strong beliefs or biased love based on those impressions. How can we go beyond our past conclusions in new circumstances? If we believe ‘this’ about women and ‘that’ about men, the real events around us we see through those beliefs like a colored lens.
If we don’t … Read More