How to Let Go of Sexual Customs – Be Bold

The honor we pay to fictional ideas about love and sex is simply customary, like the undeserved deference our ancestors felt they must pay to king and clergy. These ideas, even when false, have real power. Some of our forebears undoubtedly believed in the truth, importance and obligation of their beliefs. Many people were cruel, destructive and willing sacrifice their own lives to undeserving authority because they thought it good to do so. “Men—not saints or philosophers, but common herds and crowds—are constantly frenzied into… Read More

BDSM Dungeon-ous Crab

We are creatures capable of amazing altered states that we enjoy. We find our way to discovering what those things are. We can even help others to have that excitement. But lets remember, what ever your consensual thing may be, a little humor can do us a lot of good. Read More

Interview with a Non-Monogamous Woman

Q: You felt it necessary to be anonymous for this interview. I think it says something about our so-called freedom of speech. Why do you feel the need to be anonymous? M: I live in a small town, and I have children. I’m not sure that I want the judgment of my church-going neighbors to be carried out on my innocent children. Who knows what reactions might take place? Would my children be teased or shunned at school or in the neighborhood? This isn’t their… Read More

The Polyamorous Caravan – Part Two

Many non-traditional folks carry conclusions that seem to rest on bias left over from tradition. For example, in a recent piece, Louisa Leontiades discussed applying the lessons of open relationships to monogamous relationships. I agree with her about many things, but we part ways when she starts to explain both success and failure by the same idea. In other words, her belief can never be false, then I explain how such ideas are a superstitions relationship mythology. The four indented quotes that follow are from… Read More

The Polyamorous Caravan – Part One

In sexual relationships, consider the anguish of those that try everything they learned to do in order to succeed and still suffer. People often attempt what their contemporaries and therapists suggest, to create lasting relationships. Regardless of the money spent and sincere efforts, many do not find satisfaction following a set of directions to build or sustain sexual affections. Therefore, I question the assumptions upon which this system is built even though the ideas in question are popular among both monogamists and non-traditionalists. Some may… Read More

Can Casual Sex Be Loving? Yes, It Can.

I am not saying that all casual sex is loving any more than I would say the same about all marriages. I am saying, What would make any meeting worth thirty years would also make any meeting worth one night. Our society’s blind spots around sex are worse because we tend to trust customs and support these ideas with awkward feelings, including, but not limited to, fear, contempt and envy. If we combine our experience(s) of disappointment and a dread of disease into this mix,… Read More