Cheating and Honest Non-Monogamy

I recently shared food with two women who both cheated on past lovers and felt pain about their conduct. Both now live candidly in non-monogamous circumstances and feel better for the change. I know non-monogamous men who feel the same way. These people made moral judgements. Let’s not fear making such judgements, after all, we make them constantly when we weigh choices in terms of better or worse. Let any such judgement consciously invite criticism if some contrary fact or reason eludes us in our… Read More

She Lives in Secret

We can’t pick her out of a crowd, she who lives in secret. As the eyes of her teachers stabbed with disapproval, she learned to show what they would not condemn. And sometimes her sisters were as mean. She learned that the living joys within her provoked anger, shame and burning envy. Her desire, her daring, her naked delight, she reveals to those she trusts. And those joyous moments are sometimes mixed with deceit, and betrayal. We see her dressed for work, professional, reserved and qualified. In her costume we cannot see her… Read More

Is Monogamy Over? A Reply

The headline ‘Is monogamy over?’ emblazoned TIME Magazine’s September 21, 2015 issue. Feeling skeptical, I bought it. Its brevity trifled with the subject. Biologist David Barash has suggested that monogamy conflicts with our biology. However, he also states that child care recommends monogamy: “It’s very rare for any species to engage in bi-parental care unless the males are guaranteed that they are genetically related to the offspring – confidence only monogamy can provide.” (1) I must correct Barash, confidence in paternity ONLY comes from a paternity… Read More

Sex-Pats in Cambodia

According to my friend, George, the American proverb that “even blind pigs can find an occasional acorn” is understated in Cambodia. “The ‘Kingdom Of Wonder’ – as Cambodia is advertised by the tourism board – is a haven for sex-pats. Easy immigration policies let foreigners stay for extended periods. A phrase repeated around the capital is ‘The older and uglier you are, the easier it is to get a woman in Cambodia’ The women seem to understand their ‘target market’. Sometimes the stark difference of an… Read More